One shoe, a pen that stops working mid sentence, a plug half way in the socket, a fruit picked before it’s ripe and loneliness. What do all these things have in common?
Each one of these things doesn’t work.
Garden of Eden
Loneliness has been a problem since the beginning of creation. All of paradise couldn’t fix Adam’s problem with it. Even being surrounded by spectacular beauty wasn’t enough, because he was alone. Yes, he walked with God in the garden but he was the only one of his species.
When loneliness began to crawl up the back of Adam’s neck, God said, “it is not good for man to be alone….”Genesis 2:8 Loneliness is solved by companionship. Marriage. Family. Friendship. Work relationships, etc. From the starting line human connection has always been God’s design.
One Big Fat Lie
If you are wrestling through isolation, one of the ways that people attempt to solve that is to say, “Well, I don’t need anyone anyway.” However that is a lie. You are designed for human contact and interaction. Each one of us is better by having connection with others. If you’ve embraced this lie to protect your heart, let it go. This way of thinking isn’t going to help you solve your problem. It will only create more difficulty for you. Drop the lie and replace it with reality, say this: “I need people and with God’s help I’m going to find some new avenues of human connection”.
Protect Your Heart
If you go to bed after eating a candy bar and you don’t brush your teeth you will have decay. That’s not God punishing you, it’s you putting yourself in a reaping and sowing situation. When you sow bad hygiene, in this case, you might reap a dental visit. In keeping with this line of thought, be careful not to embrace self pity and sarcasm. Self pity gives us false comfort and it’s easy to feel good about feeling bad. The practice of this only leads to decay and is a repellant for having relationship with others.
The other thing that acts as a repellant for gathering friends is sarcasm. I suppose a certain amount can be okay but sarcasm tends to be defensive, rude and draining. So try to avoid it.
Are you Lonely?
Here’s Stuff you can do:
1. Be honest with God about what you need in your relationships and activate your trust in Him to send you people and give you courage to reach out.
2. Be a friend. Show up for the other person. Even when you’re feeling a deep need, a part of your need will be filled when you aim to give instead of receive. Be brave and try it.
3. Be an encouragement to people. To the grocery clerk, the car repair guys, the bus driver, mail man. Whoever you come into any contact with, smile (even behind your mask) and say something nice.
4. Write some letters. It’s almost a lost art. Send someone in your family or circle of friends a card with love and appreciation. You never know what you might get back in return.
5. Volunteer. You may not be able to do this in person but there are suicide hotlines and other helpful phone-lines where you can get trained and show up for someone else. Which also gives you contact with another person.
Of course you can always get a dog, a horse or a pygmy goat. But animals are not a substitute for people.
Sending you hugs if loneliness is something you need to tackle.
“May he send you help from the sanctuary…” Psalm 20~ Amen.